The Time to Wise Up Has Come

As I sit here at work on what is my last day...after over 17 years of working here...I know that the one to blame for my troubles here is ME. I allowed this to happen. For 17 years, I sent a message to them that I will allow myself to be treated as less than what I deserve.

During the last year, I became a fighter. I started to stand up for myself, for what I believe in and to take a stand against others who have hurt me. Some people do not like that. But that does not mean that I am wrong for doing so...it just means that they are uncomfortable with the new side of me...it was unexpected and unplanned...it just happened. I had had enough. And maybe I do not handle things as others think I should...again, it does not mean that I am wrong...it is an opinion. But,I do know that there is always room for improvement in everything we do...so, yes, I'm sure I could have handled things better. And I do know that I OWN my part.

During the last year, I had a lot of time to reflect on the choices I have made and own up to my responsibility for the choices I have made in my life. The issues at my job were devestating to me. Those who cared enough to listen, know just how bad things were and still are...

I made myself a note one day at work...several months ago...it said,

"What you allow to happen to you indicates to others how you will tolerate being treated. What are YOU worth?"

I have worked very hard to keep that in my mind daily. I work hard to realize that just as I set the bar high for myself for what I want to achieve in life, I need to set the bar high for how I will tolerate being treated.

My fear of loving and losing has kept me in a point of stagnation for a very long time. Being afraid of "what if I say I want more or deserve better treatment and I lose, him, her, it..." where has it gotten me? I am still at ground zero with a foundation made of sand...and when the wind blows, my house falls down every time. It is time to build a foundation made of concrete...

I have been saying for some time now that I would rather be me and stand up for what I believe is right, what I believe in even if that means that I am standing alone...I'd rather be alone and extraordinary than in a group of people who are just so-so. It is time that I put my words into action. Live what I believe in my head to be true.

I KNOW I am a good person and I KNOW I deserve better...and it is time I wise up and make it happen.