Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Strength

I had not always believed that strength could come from brokenness, or that the thread of divine purpose could be seen in tragedy. But I do now. ~Max Clelend

So lately a lot of people have been telling me that I am stronger than I think. In all honesty, I know that is true...that is why I am still here...it takes a strong person to do the things I have had to do in my life.

Even though I spent the better part of the last year and a half essentially curled up in a ball hiding and crying, I was still strong through all of that. My strength was just buried deeply...because i was tired and I put it there.

So now, as I think about strength, I wonder what strength really is....is there just strength, lots of kinds of strengths, or one kind of strength with many variations.

I think about cookies....yes cookies. Oreo cookies, as a matter of fact. I have the strength to NOT buy them at the store. But if I do buy them, I still have the strength to not eat them as long as the package is closed. I may go to my cupboards 50 times that day and look at the package, but I won't open it. But, once that package is open, the strength is gone...

So, that is just cookies...but what about the really important stuff...

What about the strength you need to say goodbye when you don't want to?
What about the strength it takes to trust?
What about having the strength to walk away from something or someone you have grown comfortable with?
What about having the strength to draw a line of what you will accept and being able to stick with it?
What about the strength it takes to accept something like your child having a disability?
What about the strength it takes to come back from life changing injury?
What about the strength it takes to overcome the past and live for today?
What about the strength it takes to look yourself in the mirror and see things you do not like?

I don't think all strength is equal...but maybe I am wrong...maybe I have to keep searching for the answer to this question.



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