Walking on My Journey

I just realized recently that I have not just started a journey but that I have been on a journey my whole life. For some reason, though, I had been thinking that life was a place or thing that we were. But now, I that I am seeing more clearly, I realize that I have indeed been on a journey but I was stuck at a crossroads for a very long, long time.

There are many people on the paths of life moving in different directions and on different paths. On our journey through life, we have people who walk with us. The problem I had is that I really loved those people and because of that, I wanted them to stay with me forever...I embraced them too tightly.

I did not understand that in the journey of life, people need to follow their own path, too. And their path and my path may only meet for awhile. So, when the time came for people I loved to leave my side and no longer walk beside me...I stopped walking. And I stood at the crossroads and called for them to come back. But that did not work...they continued on their journey...and they should have. So, then I turned around, and looked back at where I had come from...and I missed those people and focused on the loss I felt in their absence. And all that time...I stayed standing at the crossroads...not moving because without them, I did not know which way to go...I was not able to or chose not to be strong enough to walk alone for awhile.

I stayed for so long that I forgot about the journey. And life passed me by. People passed me by. I missed out on people and opportunities, I am sure of it. While I stood there at that crossroads, looking into the past, and calling down the paths my loved ones had taken begging for them to come back and walk with me again...I missed out and time passed that I can't get back.

But now, I have realized that life is a journey and it was me who forgot to take it. And I realize that the people I love who have come in and out of my life were only meant to walk with me for awhile. And all that time, while I was embracing them too tightly, and having too high of expectations and needs, I needed to celebrate the moments for what they were. Not only do the people in our lives bring us the gift of themselves and any messages they bear, but we, too are gifts and message bearers. And in those moments we focus too much on hopes and expectations, we might be missing the messages. And it is the messages that are the important thing to take away from the friendships because when it comes time for your paths to separate and to go on your own separate journeys, you will be better able to celebrate the time you walked together rather than stop your journey and look back in pain.

So, today, I thanked a friend for walking on my journey. And he thanked me for allowing him to walk with me. This friend has helped me to become a healthy me...not by telling me what to do or think or feel, but by making me figure it out on my own using the tools I already had. He just encouraged me to do it.

But more importantly than thanking him for walking with me...I told him that I knew that it was only for awhile...who knew how long...but I knew it was just for awhile or maybe forever...but in the meantime, I will embrace the moments and the messages. And this is important because that is one of the messages he wanted me to figure out while he walked with me on my journey...but he wanted me to figure it out on my own--he didn't just tell me--and that is what makes it even more meaningful. So, I wanted him to know that I got it.

And when the time comes for us to go our separate ways, I will be probably cry and I will miss my friend, but my tears will not be because I feel abandoned, but tears of happiness that I was so lucky to have been so blessed to have had him walk with me for awhile.

And, really, that goes for a lot of my friends right now...I am very fortunate to have so many friends in so many places. I am so glad for your company on my journey...and thank you for getting me moving again.