"I think about lying down. No, that would not do. I crouch by the trunk, my fingers stroking the bark, seeking a Braille code, a clue, a message on how to come back to life after my long undersnow dormancy. I have survived. I am here. Confused, screwed up, but here. So, how can I find my way? Is there a chain saw of the soul, an ax I can take to my memories or fears? I dig my fingers into the dirt and squeeze. A small, clean part of me waits to warm and burst through the surface. Some quiet Melindagirl I haven't seen in months. That is the seed I will care for."
Speak is about a 14 year old girl (Melinda) who was raped the summer before entering high school. She told no one. In this passage, nearly 9 months have passed since the rape and she returned to the scene of the rape...the tree under which it occurred.
This passage strikes me because i think that many of us can relate. I wish often that there were an ax to take away my memories or fears. and I too often relate to "Melindagirl" but I am a "Rosiegirl" who has lain dormant for a long time...I am someone who needs take the messages from past memories and leave the remainder of those memories in the past...just live in the moments of today. I need to let the warmth of today allow me to burst through the surface. A Rosiegirl--- THAT is the seed I will care for.
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