In my mind’s eye, I look at many things as a series of check points similar to those a marathon runner has during the course of his race. For example, me getting my teaching license this summer is a checkpoint (not a goal—it is not it is not the end of my effort), me earning my master’s degree is a checkpoint (not a goal—it is not the end of my effort), me getting a job is a checkpoint (not a goal— it is not the end of my effort)…my goal may not be reached for another 20 years or more because my goal is to see fruit of my life’s work.
Some people like to break it down into short term and long term goals…I don’t know…to me it just seems to make more sense to look at it as a checkpoint.
I may be wrong since I cannot see into the future, but my career as an educator seems to have somewhat of a linear course… such that it can be compared to a race that a marathon runner runs. But not everything in life is linear and has a set pattern of predictable checkpoints.
Another linear example would be having children…conception, first trimester, second trimester, third trimester, labor, birth, infancy, toddlerhood, childhood, adolescence, 18 and out of the house….all of those are checkpoints that parents help rear their children through. While each of those marks a significant point or “goal” as some would say we realize that once we get to that point, that the one true goal is not met, but that we have merely passed a checkpoint. For example, people struggling to conceive may say that their goal is simply to get pregnant, yet once they do anxiety sets and the realization sets in that what was thought to be the goal in actuality was not the goal…now the goal is to carry the baby past the first trimester because most miscarriages occur during that period... “If I can make it past the first trimester then my baby will be safe”. Then past that the first trimester, is another and then another and then another so called goal. None of them is an end of the true directed effort. The “finish line” just continues to move…throughout the pregnancy, throughout raising children. I know this first hand as a person who struggled with fertility issues.
But not all of life is linear….not all of life has predictable checkpoints from which we cannot stray.
Life, I think, can be compared to those choose your own adventure books. I remember reading them as a child. At the end of each chapter (the checkpoint), you had to make a choice of what you wanted to happen next in the story. As you made a decision, more elements of the story were revealed to you based on that decision and then you came to the end of another chapter (another checkpoint). Again, you had a choice to make.
So, what I am getting at is that in life, with experience, with exposure to new things, new information, new situations, we want to, have to or have the responsibility to change our course even though we thought we knew the course we wanted to follow. Sometimes, when we make a choice, the consequences or outcomes of that choice influence the next decision we have to make in our lives. It seems natural to me that that would be the case. And it seems natural to me that in a life where many of us juggle many roles (spouse, parent, employee, self, friend) that in all decisions, we weigh our values and responsibilities. That while we may want to be working on our own personal goals throughout our lives, the pacing which we are working on them may not be equal to the goals we have for things in other areas of our lives. When we have obstacles or challenges along life’s journey, new goals arise.
An example in my “choose your own adventure book” is that when I chose to have a child, my child ended up being born with a disability. It is not what I had expected when I chose “becomes a parent” over “remain childless”. Because of that, when I reached the “checkpoint” and decisions had to be made regarding my personal self over my child, I had to make choices. My choice was to put most of my energy into the goals I had for my child when he needed it. During that time, I still worked on the goals I had for myself. I may not have started my education during the first six years from the time he was diagnosed until the time I actually did start school. However, I did acquire mentors (observe, listen, learn), build a teaching resource library, build a children’s literature library and obtain 6 years of in the classroom substitute teaching experience from some of the best teachers there are.
Now that my child’s issues are more manageable and his earlier developmental needs were met, I am able to put more of my energy into my “self” goals.
Life is a balancing act. And in our “choose your own adventure book”, at each check point, we need to assess where we need to put our energy to keep things in balance while maintaining forward motion, and with the new information gleaned from each chapter of life as it unfolds, we make informed decisions about how to balance the pacing of the goals we have for our children, self, career, spouse, friends, career, etc. Or, maybe we realize that we were on the wrong adventure to begin with… life is an adventure after all and as it unfolds and we have more of life revealed to us, we have more information with which to make decisions.
No comments:
Post a Comment