Goals

Goals and dreams…we all have them.  When I was a child, I wanted to be a rock star.  I wanted to be a ballerina.  I wanted to even be a nun for a while.  That I am none of those things today does not mean that I did not have the conviction or dedication to become those things…it merely means that as I moved through life’s journey, matured, hit speed bumps, became exposed to new things, recognized where my talents lie, that  I pursued new interests or altered my course.

Life does not always go as we planned.  Ask anyone who has a child with a disability.  Things that we may want to do may have to take a back seat because of our responsibility to that child.  Many, many things cause people to have to alter their course for a while…and it is not the lack of conviction in their own personal goals but perhaps the conviction in the goals that they have for another person like their child.  For years, I put myself aside.  I worked from home so that I could be home with my children.  I volunteered at school, took on leadership roles of several school organizations so that I could find a way for my child to fit in.

Six years ago, I stumbled upon my calling.  Because my son has a developmental disability, I started substitute teaching.  And through that, I realized that I literally had to become a teacher.  It is an indescribably feeling.

I hope that it does not seem that my life is a series of wishy-washiness… a series of my making decisions and changing courses on a whim.  I look at things as a series of life experiences and with those life experiences we are exposed to new things.  Until we have had an experience, we were never truly informed to make a committed decision to begin with.  It does not mean that we are wishy-washy.

So, yes, I am almost 40 and just approaching getting my teaching license.  And yes, after I get my teaching license in early childhood education, I am relisting my Master’s program to Literacy so that I can get certified to teach K-12 reading and language arts.  Why…not because I have had a change of mind.  But because I love literacy so much, that I want to do it to benefit not only myself but more children.  By increasing my education, I am improving myself and embarking on what has the potential to be a more fulfilling career.

So, did I change my mind…wishy-washy and easily pushed off course, derailed from yet another goal through lack of conviction?  Or did one door opening when I started school, help me to realize that I had not set my sights on my true goal to begin with….for when I took my literacy class, a whole new world was opened to me…

I’m pretty sure I know what I am doing…I know what my goals are, I know what passion career wise.  It was through life experiences and exposure to new things that I found my way there… without making a few sacrifices when I needed to due to responsibility and obligation to my children and keeping my mind open, I might have missed out on some of that.