"The quality of everything we do: our physical actions, our verbal actions, and even our mental actions, depends on our motivation. That's why it's important for us to examine our motivation in our day to day life. If we cultivate respect for others and our motivation is sincere, if we develop a genuine concern for others’ well-being, then all our actions will be positive."
Being a fan of words and how we use them in writing to create a feeling, a visual image, or to use them to create what I like to call "magical moments in writing", I was taken with the phrase "cultivate respect for others". It made me think about how I want other people to respect me and how I respect other people. But, I consider myself to be a fairly respectable person and I think most people I know are fairly respectable.
So what does "cultivate a respect for others" mean?
Well, one definition of cultivate states "to promote or improve the growth of (a plant, crop, etc.) by labor and attention" (dictionary.com). Hmm. Cultivating a respect for others implies that it takes hard work (labor) and attention. While I knew that it took hard work, a certain personality trait, a pattern of behavior, a lifestyle, and a lot of self reflection to be respectable and gain the respect of others, I have not considered that the respect I had for others was something that I needed to work on as well. Shouldn't the people I encounter on a day to day basis be responsible for acquiring their own respect? Perhaps, for the most part.
But then I realized I was thinking about this too microscopically.
A lot of people do not respect people who are different than them. Period. End of story. There is absolutely NO opportunity for a member of that group to have a chance gaining the respect of some people. Perhaps it is a high school student who has a mohawk and multiple facial piercings. Perhaps it is a pregnant teen. Perhaps, it is a person of color. Perhaps, it is an obese person. A Jewish person. A mother of a child throwing a tantrum in a grocery store.
It really can be anyone. I thought to myself, "the man at Sam's club who told me I should be ashamed of myself probably didn't think I was respectable." You see, my son was having a tantrum, meltdown, or whatever you would like to call it. He was about four years old and having a breakdown at Sam's Club because children with Asperger's Syndrome have sensory issues. The store was too loud, too cold, too bright. At that time, my son had not been officially diagnosed yet. But, to that man at Sam's Club, I was probably not respectable because I had raised "a brat". He had said to me, "what he needs is a good old-fashioned spanking." Clearly my parenting skills, in his mind, were not respectable...at least that day. But, he did not know.
Does a person's lack of knowledge excuse them from the pain, suffering and sometimes abuse they cause others? I don't think so. I think if we are going to speak out, best to speak out informed, or be prepared to be informed.
So, when it comes to cultivating a respect for others...perhaps the Dalai Lama would like us to become informed. Learn to understand those who are not like us. Perhaps things are not how they seem.
Work hard. This does not just mean to study and investigate. Perhaps it may mean to go beyond your comfort zone.
If you find yourself making snap judgements of pregnant teens, it may be worth doing some volunteer work with a shelter.
If you are uncomfortable around people who have children with disabilities, find out if you have a park in your area that is designed to be handicapped accessible. In the area I live in, there is a park specifically for children with disabilities. Sit on a bench. Watch. Maybe talk to a parent.
Cultivate a respect for others. It requires hard work and attention. Figure out who of this group of "others" you need to work on and you might just realize that you also needed to work on you, too.
No comments:
Post a Comment