People Who Matter Until They Don’t Anymore

I knew someone that I had discussions about friendships with.  He would say that there are people who matter and people who don’t.  His thoughts were that in life we need to try not to let the things said or done by people who don’t really matter bother us.  It is the people who matter that really count.  It is what they think of us that holds more value and meaning over time.  Oddly enough, I am no longer friends with this person.

I have often thought back to those conversations with that person and lately, I have had the experience of desperately missing a friend that I had talked to nearly every day for months…and for the last month, nothing.  Busy…people get busy.  And here is what I think…or at least how it feels…maybe there is another category…people who matter until they don’t anymore.  If time can get in the way, then it seems perfectly reasonable that the bond of friendship just naturally dissipates to the point where a person does not matter anymore.

Having grown up in a military town, I got used to my friends moving away as I grew up…perfect examples of people who mattered until they didn’t anymore.  We’d write for a while, talk once in a while but once they made new friends at their new school, they did not need me anymore.  Friendships fell away.

Friends moved away in my adult-hood and the same thing happened.  Some pretty monumental friendships fell away just because people got busy.  Life gets in the way.  People matter less and we decide to not give them our time.

I don’t know…maybe I am wrong.  Maybe my heart is broken because I feel forgotten by a friend and perhaps I should not feel that way.  But I am confused between what my mind knows about my friend, what past experience has shown me, and how my heart feels.  And I do know one thing…the receiver determines the message…so right now, I am hurting, whether my friend intends it or not.